Here we are, at the brink of a new year. It's been a little over two years since I started this blog and I feel as though I haven't done it justice this year. I will try to change that in 2010.
They say things come in threes. Specifically, "they" say deaths come in threes. I don't know why "they" say this...but "they" have been right so many times.
Early this year, our dog, Sable, had to be put down...she was 19, so she had a long full life, but it was still hard on Brian and me to lose a friend.
Then, in April, my best friend, soul sister, and closest confidant, Terri, lost her 4-year-long fight with cancer. It was a loss I couldn't fathom at the time, and still have a hard time believing. Sometimes I still think of calling her or texting her but quickly realize that it would be impossible. When someone's been a 20-year-long friend, it's hard to let go of the "usual stuff" like calling just to say hi or sending a daily email. It becomes habit.
It never occurred to me that "deaths come in threes". After Sable and Terri, I didn't think anything else would happen. Then, this past Monday, I realized fate still had its chance to make it three for the year. Three months ago, Brian and I adopted our puppy, Savanna, a 12-month-old Catahoula Leopard Hound, from Animal Friends Society, a rescue organization out of Tampa. This past Monday morning, she got away from us. She thought it was play time and started running around. She got carried away with her energy, ran out into the street and was hit by a car...killing her instantly. I still see the event in my head and I keep hearing that crack over and over again. I went temporarily insane I think. I fell prostrate when I heard it, screaming NOOOOOOO over and over. When I brought the car around and saw her, I just fell apart. Her blank eyes just staring up from the cold pavement broke my heart into a thousand pieces. A million. I was unable to move. Brian had to lift me into the car. I insisted on riding with her in the back of the truck. I wanted to be with her as much as I could. As Brian drove to the hospital I held her in my arms as her heartbeat faded away to nothing and she died. My sweet girl was gone. I sobbed uncontrollably. I don't know why Nature, or God, or fate, or what- or whoever saw fit to take our little girl from us but I do believe that things happen for a reason. Maybe this means that now we'll get to save another Catahoula from a shelter where he or she may have died without ever having been loved. That is my hope.
We can never know why things happen. But I firmly believe things happen for a reason. So I'm hanging on to that notion as we pass from 2009 into 2010.
I have experienced a lot of successes in sports, and a fair amount of personal happiness this year as well. I finished my first 100-mile run, a race I'll return to next year. I set PR's in a bunch of running distances and PR'ed in both triathlon distances I raced this year (sprint and Olympic). I achieved my first triathlon age-group win, and my first top-5 finish in a sub-marathon distance race. I ran my first sub-1:30 half marathon...a big step for me since I'm pushing hard for that 2:59 marathon mark.
Brian and I are still going strong, and we've really transformed our condo into an IKEA catalog! We have had some stresses this year with finances but we refused to let it consume us. Luckily now, with Brian's new awesome job based in Canada, we are doing much better. Christmas was a wonderful holiday for us as we, after almost 2 years together, have started wearing commitment rings, bonding our souls forever.
I got to find out what it's like to be a personal trainer. Although, in the end, I wound up going back to engineering full time, I now know what it's like to work in such an exciting field. I will return to it in some capacity, even if it is just doing boot camps and training a few private clients. It was fun, and I really made some great friends. Coach Q is not out of the picture!
People tell me to concentrate on the good and let go of the bad. This is definitely good advice. However, I would really like to let go of 2009, despite its good points. Having lost two animal friends and the closest friend I've EVER had in my 35 years, I'd really like to forget about 2009 and welcome 2010 with open arms. It really just HAS to be better. Although I can't guarantee that, I feel that 2010 has to be a better year than 2009 was. It's time to start a new year, a new decade, a new chapter in my life. I will return to Ironman racing in 2010, and I am hoping a lot of new and exciting things will happen over the next year.
Sure, there will be stress. But I'm stronger now. 2009 definitely built up my mental and emotional strengths. It revealed my weaknesses. But to 2010, I can only say...
BRING IT!
