WE081210
Last night, while I was taking pictures of all the things that I need to sell on craigslist, I watched "The Happening". It was pretty cool...it made me think. Could nature actually revolt against people? Hmmm...pretty damn scary to think that our planet could actually treat us like a disease some day. It's funny, I was watching the movie and thinking..."wow, Mark Wahlberg looks older than me now". I felt strangely comforted by that thought. Still a good looking man, he's far from the old pop-hop Marky Mark he used to be.
Anyway, that's not why I'm here. I was watching THE HAPPENING. Yeah. That's it. And I was thinking to myself as I considered the name of the movie. There are alot of things HAPPENING in my life right now. So many in fact, that I'm actually feeling a bit apprehensive, even though the things that are happening are (mostly) positive...save for work stuff.
For instance...a friend of mine told me last night that there might be an opportunity for me to have a job as an "official trainer/coach" at a new tri shop that will be opening soon. That would be super awesome. Also, I've gotten more than just a few requests for online and in-person coaching in running, triathlon, and weight training over the past week. I was also offered a partnership in a local gay-owned business to be a coach/facilitator at some boot camp workouts in 2009, as well as a free classified ad on that business's website to promote my training business. Those are all great things, except...they're all just "possibilities" and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed about how to go about keeping them in priority order. Getting a job with health insurance is PARAMOUNT. The sooner I can get a job with health coverage, the sooner I can leave this boring, depressing engineering hellhole. Since the layoffs and pay cuts, I have no one in my area...I am, effectively, the only person in my department. We have others "helping"...but no one else, really, with my job title, except myself. To protect my sanity, I want to rush along the job seeking as much as possible so I can change this dismal feeling I have to endure for 9 hours a day.
I want so badly just to send letters to gyms, fitness centers, training studios, ANY BUSINESS that'd hire a personal trainer, but I simply can't until I'm certified. The good thing is, I will be jumping the first hurdle this coming Friday. I will be certified in CPR/AED on Friday afternoon, after my American Red Cross certification class. Once I'm CPR/AED certified, at least I'll really feel like I'm on the road to being a certified fitness trainer. I've read almost the entire ACE Trainer Manual (it's 550 pages) in 3 weeks. I'm on page 461. I have learned more about anatomy, physiology, and kinesiology in the past 3 weeks than I have in 3 years! But it's all so awesome and I'm so excited!!
Also, my move is making me apprehensive. I have so much to do. I am nervous about getting all the big stuff sold on craigslist. I'm sure it will all go, but I want it to be done NOW, so I have less to worry about later. The sooner I can get things sold, the sooner I can get stuff consolidated and ready to either go to Brian's, or go to storage. I'm also getting ready for the yard sale on Saturday and want to make sure I sell all of my unneeded stuff there as well. Hell, I'll give it away if I have to.
SO...this is why I'm so mentally flooded with anxiety right now. It's coming down to the wire and I just want to get everything done so the move goes smoothly. I just want to be less stressed about being able to afford my life.
20081210
20081208
Confessions of an Obsessive-Compulsive Ultrarunner
MO081208
87.5 miles in one week. That's how far I ran between the dates of 29Nov and 6Dec. 32.5 on 29Nov (the 50K was long), a mile each day for 3 days during the week, and 50 miles on 6Dec. I confess...I derive some sort of chemical pleasure from this. During the week, there was no need at all to run. I would probably have done BETTER at Sunmart (not that 15th of 187 overall and 3rd in Age Group is bad) if I'd just have rested between the 50K and the 50 Miler. But something in me told me I had to do it...even if it was just for a mile at a time. There is some sort of running devil residing in my body that makes me feel as though I'm COMPELLED to run, even when I don't need or want to.
This week, I have already taken off yesterday completely from all exercise. Today I will do the same, and I will do it again tomorrow. Wednesday I'll start working out with weights a bit, but will not run. I am fully expecting an almost unbearable amount of running withdrawal by the time Thursday comes around, when I can start running again.
My ankle hurts. I rolled it at Mile 40. My quads and hamstrings are sore. My left big toe is blistered. But I still feel like I'm missing opportunities by not running. I am INSANE.
I think, though, that it's a good thing...since that compulsion will force me to finish that 100 miler in April and forego any and all doubts, even though I know I'll be in pain and want to quit a thousand times over.
Here's my Sunmart race report...it's long but it's full of drama and excitement!
87.5 miles in one week. That's how far I ran between the dates of 29Nov and 6Dec. 32.5 on 29Nov (the 50K was long), a mile each day for 3 days during the week, and 50 miles on 6Dec. I confess...I derive some sort of chemical pleasure from this. During the week, there was no need at all to run. I would probably have done BETTER at Sunmart (not that 15th of 187 overall and 3rd in Age Group is bad) if I'd just have rested between the 50K and the 50 Miler. But something in me told me I had to do it...even if it was just for a mile at a time. There is some sort of running devil residing in my body that makes me feel as though I'm COMPELLED to run, even when I don't need or want to.
This week, I have already taken off yesterday completely from all exercise. Today I will do the same, and I will do it again tomorrow. Wednesday I'll start working out with weights a bit, but will not run. I am fully expecting an almost unbearable amount of running withdrawal by the time Thursday comes around, when I can start running again.
My ankle hurts. I rolled it at Mile 40. My quads and hamstrings are sore. My left big toe is blistered. But I still feel like I'm missing opportunities by not running. I am INSANE.
I think, though, that it's a good thing...since that compulsion will force me to finish that 100 miler in April and forego any and all doubts, even though I know I'll be in pain and want to quit a thousand times over.
Here's my Sunmart race report...it's long but it's full of drama and excitement!
20081202
Winning Feels Weird
TU081202-0905
"Look at these guys. They're awesome. I wonder what it's like to say, 'I win ultramarathons'...wow, I'll never say that". - Me, December 2006, at the Sunmart 50 Mile Endurance Run.
This past weekend I locked up my first ever overall win in a running race. It was the Bartram Forest 50K trail run. It was my second year at this race, last year I came in second by about four minutes. This year, I took the lead at the starting line and never gave it up. I wound up winning by about 17 minutes. But here's the strange part. I'm still not really able to grasp the accomplishment. It just felt like a really long run. Since there really was no competition for me past Mile 2, I never really got the feeling like I was working for something. By Mile 20, I had lapped the second place guy, so I wasn't really sure who was chasing me for most of the race.
It did feel really sweet to win, given the awful course conditions (torrential rain, wind, 12 ascents of a 6% grade, rivulets on the trail, deep mud, and lots of puddles), but those same conditions really thwarted the post-race festivities...last year there was a tape for the winner to break, people clapping along the finish line...none of that this year due to the monsoon that we were experiencing on race day. But the strangest part of all this is, I still feel strange telling people "I won the race". It's like it's coming from someone else's body. I've never won a running race in my 20-year running history. I've come in 2nd overall, I've come in 3rd overall, and I've even won my age group many times, but have never locked up a first place overall. People ask..."how did you do?" and when I answer "I won", they just kinda look at me funny for a second, and then it hits.
Still, even with all the crazy race conditions, the less-than-usually-cheerful finish, and the continued weirdness of saying "I won", I couldn't have hoped for a better first overall win experience. I never want winning to be easy, I never want to take it for granted. When I do win something, I want to have earned it. That's the only way I'll ever be happy to say "I won the race".
Here's a link to my race report on BT if anyone feels compelled to read a long play-by-play of the race.
http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/discussion/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=140685
"Look at these guys. They're awesome. I wonder what it's like to say, 'I win ultramarathons'...wow, I'll never say that". - Me, December 2006, at the Sunmart 50 Mile Endurance Run.
This past weekend I locked up my first ever overall win in a running race. It was the Bartram Forest 50K trail run. It was my second year at this race, last year I came in second by about four minutes. This year, I took the lead at the starting line and never gave it up. I wound up winning by about 17 minutes. But here's the strange part. I'm still not really able to grasp the accomplishment. It just felt like a really long run. Since there really was no competition for me past Mile 2, I never really got the feeling like I was working for something. By Mile 20, I had lapped the second place guy, so I wasn't really sure who was chasing me for most of the race.
It did feel really sweet to win, given the awful course conditions (torrential rain, wind, 12 ascents of a 6% grade, rivulets on the trail, deep mud, and lots of puddles), but those same conditions really thwarted the post-race festivities...last year there was a tape for the winner to break, people clapping along the finish line...none of that this year due to the monsoon that we were experiencing on race day. But the strangest part of all this is, I still feel strange telling people "I won the race". It's like it's coming from someone else's body. I've never won a running race in my 20-year running history. I've come in 2nd overall, I've come in 3rd overall, and I've even won my age group many times, but have never locked up a first place overall. People ask..."how did you do?" and when I answer "I won", they just kinda look at me funny for a second, and then it hits.
Still, even with all the crazy race conditions, the less-than-usually-cheerful finish, and the continued weirdness of saying "I won", I couldn't have hoped for a better first overall win experience. I never want winning to be easy, I never want to take it for granted. When I do win something, I want to have earned it. That's the only way I'll ever be happy to say "I won the race".
Here's a link to my race report on BT if anyone feels compelled to read a long play-by-play of the race.
http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/discussion/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=140685
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